Post by WarbirdTA on Aug 21, 2009 18:09:32 GMT -5
Dear Citizens,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,
I, President Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put
workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for
the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I,
President Obama deem appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by me, President Obama.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have
always prided myself on the amount of I give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough , please bring this to
the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all
the you can handle.
Sincerely,
President Obama
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
This thing just cracked me up! ;D
Found it on another webiste (Thanks mr.71transam).
Enjoy!
George
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,
I, President Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put
workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for
the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I,
President Obama deem appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by me, President Obama.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have
always prided myself on the amount of I give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough , please bring this to
the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all
the you can handle.
Sincerely,
President Obama
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.
This thing just cracked me up! ;D
Found it on another webiste (Thanks mr.71transam).
Enjoy!
George
